The Family Dinner Disaster

Bob would never have invited his relatives if he knew that doing so would lead to one of the most traumatic experiences of his life. On a dreary Thursday, Bob received word at his job as a psychiatrist that he had received a promotion. Wanting to celebrate this event, Bob invited three of his relatives for a family dinner—Jane, his sister, who was a reporter, Steve, his uncle, who was, unfortunately, also a recovering alcoholic, and Jake, his brother, who was a plant-based nutritionist and strict vegetarian. He couldn’t wait to meet his family members again, whom he hadn’t seen in many years.

After planning for the dinner for the whole morning, Bob had made all the necessary preparations for the dinner he was holding. From a nearby restaurant, he had ordered many dishes. Bob had ordered steak and chicken, bacon-wrapped-asparagus, stuffed bell peppers, and rice pilaf. He had also ordered wine. I’ve really prepared well for this dinner, he had thought. He couldn’t have been more wrong.

It was finally time. Ding-dong! The doorbell went off. Bob rushed to the door! “Hello everyone,” he said, delighted to see his family members again. “It’s been such a long time,” he said and invited them inside. “Please, sit down everyone, and make yourselves at home!”

“Congratulations on your promotion, Bob,” Jane commented. “I wish my boss would see I’m doing a great job with the news and give me a promotion.”

“Jane, nobody watches NBD news,” Jake told her. Jane made a face at him. Before she could retort, Steve interrupted.

“Everyone settle down! Let’s start eating. By the way, Bob, I know I’m trying to quit drinking, but do you have any alcohol? Just asking.”

Bob had forgotten how much his siblings could fight and knew he had to say something. “Everyone, Steve is right! Let’s try to enjoy this moment together! Everyone, dig in!” As everyone ate, Bob couldn’t help but congratulate himself. “I’ve really planned this dinner perfectly,” Bob said to himself. “We’ve got great food and drinks, and everyone is happy!” Just then, Jake screamed!

“EW! Is this… b-bacon? Everyone here knows I’m a VEGETARIAN!” He ran to the bathroom, blubbering. “God, please forgive me! I’ve eaten MEAT!”

“I am so sorry, Jake,” Bob apologized. I forgot that I couldn’t order any meat! “By the way, don’t touch the steak and chicken.”

“Steak AND chicken?” Jake cried, almost in tears. “How many animals did you kill for this dinner? I won’t be a part of this. I’m leaving!” And with that, Jake took the whole plate of rice pilaf and left.

Jane rolled her eyes. “What a drama queen,” she said. “You wouldn’t see me crying like that.” Suddenly, there was a huge thud. Steve had fallen off his chair! Bob ran to Steve and saw the wine bottle in his hand. Suddenly, he realized the mistake that he had made.

“Oh, no,” he said. He looked at Jane.

“I think I’m going to leave,” Jane announced. She grabbed the plate of steak and chicken and the plate of bacon-wrapped asparagus and quickly left. It was years after that Bob ever invited any of his family to a family dinner again. And the only thing he had to eat for dinner was stuffed bell peppers.